Tomorrow is another important day to me. I know, just a few days ago was important too, but tomorrow is important for another reason. Fair warning–this post is going to get kind of personal and might trigger some people.
Tomorrow is the anniversary of a day that changed my life. April 26, 2011, I left my girlfriend who had been emotionally, mentally, verbally, and physically abusing me for the last 3-6 months. The final physical attack was the last straw, I knew I didn’t deserve it so I got out of the apartment and called the police on her. I moved everything I owned out of her apartment that same day and have had no direct contact with her since. In the past year I’ve endured anxiety, paranoia, depression, and fear, but in experiencing these emotions I learned a lot about myself, my strengths, and my value as a person and as a friend.
Just recently I received a follow request from her on twitter–a request I quickly denied, but not before reading a few of her recent posts. One of which included an open letter she had written on her blog. The letter spoke of how she has a history of losing control and harming those she cared for. Without naming me directly she acknowledged her wrongdoings and apologized for the harm she caused. She also spoke of how she’s working hard to change herself for the better. All of these things are things that 6 months ago I would have never believed and never thought would happen, and when I read her post it opened up a flood of emotions. To her credit, it was truly the best way to attempt to make amends–no direct contact but acknowledging and apologizing for her wrongdoings.
I will never speak to that woman again, but I wish her well in her endeavors and I sincerely hope she can overcome her shortcomings and become a loving, happy, successful person. If she’s reading this: you’ve taught me much of who I am as a person, and though I wish I’d learned these things in different ways I have learned lessons that I may not have learned otherwise. I am not ashamed that I fell victim to manipulation and abuse, it’s nothing that is shameful, and in fact I am proud to be a survivor, not solely a victim.
In honor of the anniversary of my freedom and the rebirth into the person I am today I’m bending the rules on my 13-week challenge.
If you know anyone who you suspect is in an abusive relationship please go here to learn how you can help. Know that you can’t save someone who doesn’t want to be saved, and do your best to simply be there for them, let them know they can trust you, and love them unconditionally.
Purple is the color of the domestic violence awareness ribbon so I chose purple as my main color for this manicure. I have to point out just how shiny the purple becomes after topcoat.
Before accent, before topcoat
After accent, before topcoat
After accent, after topcoat